Even if it is Difficult, Find the Positive: A Letter to Diane

Diane, A woman in my online group was being very negative about her husband and the group leader told her to try to think of some positives, even if it were difficult. This is what she came up with. I thought it was touching. I just wanted you to see it.
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H was very helpful in the kitchen. He usually got home from work around 3 PM, and he usually made dinner for the family. I don't get home until around 5 PM. He did all the yard work, took care of all car maintenance, always called me if he was going to be late, instilled complete trust, did the lion's share of bill paying because I hate to write due to carpal tunnel syndrome, balanced the checkbook, fixed the toilet when it would break (regularly), painted the outside of the house. He usually remembered to put the toilet seat and lid down. He vacuumedoccasionally. He spent lots of time with the kids. He bought adventcalendars with chocolate behind each day for the kids every Christmasseason. He laughed and joked a lot, and didn't like to be serious. He toldme when I looked good. He learned to enjoy horses because our girls and Iloved to ride. He was willing to try new dishes I prepared. He loved my lasagna. He went to church with the family every Sunday, even though he had trouble staying awake during preaching. Although he doesn't like classical music, he went to almost every concert our daughters played in when they were in youthsymphony (4 years for one and 6 years for the other). He held my hand through 3 labors and deliveries, and whispered in my ear to encourage me. He lovingly dressed an open wound for me after surgery for a breast abscess after the birth of our 3rd. Four years later, he stood beside my bed as I was being wheeled to surgery to remove a breast due to cancer, and tears filled his eyes as they did mine. That was in 1989. He walked the floor for hours at night with a sleepless, cranky child. Hespooned cereal and baby food into little mouths, and endured spit-up andbaby poop on his clothing. He helped me take care of my mother as she wasdying of cancer.

Is this what you mean, JJ? It was difficult to get started, but look what Iaccomplished! I also have a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyesright now. He was a fantastic husband! My sister told me he "adored" me, and I guess that's correct for a lot of the 26 years we have been married.

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